Moment Spoiling
by ness345
Summary: Set between ANH and ESB. Han is fed up with Sweethearts' Day and so decide's to invent moment spoiling - a technique he may end up regretting! HSLO


I just want to give credit to my friend Richard who invented moment spoiling and thus gave me the idea! This is set sometime between ANH and ESB - enjoy!

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Han was walking through the hangar when he noticed several weird things, firstly, hardly anyone was actually doing any work, secondly, everyone appeared to have coupled off and thirdly, they were giving each other gifts. Han contemplated the implications for about 5 seconds before giving up and turning to his faithful Wookie co-pilot. "Chewie what's going on?"

Chewbacca laughed before answering.  
"Sweethearts' day huh? I suppose that should have been obvious"

Chewie noticed that Han's attention had wandered and followed his friend's line of sight to try and find out was had distracted his friend so easily. He wasn't surprised to find Luke and Leia at the centre of his friend's attention. Apparently the kid had gotten the Princess a present, and although the Wookie could easily tell that it was a gift between friends, he knew cub wouldn't see it that way. He was proven right as Han quickly strolled towards the hugging friends.

"Good morning kid, your highnessness. Not interrupting anything I hope"

"Would you have come over if you thought otherwise?" retorted the Princess.

"What's that supposed to mean your worship?"

"I bet you didn't even know what day it was until Chewie told you" she smirked, causing a hearty laugh from the Wookie who had recently joined the group. Leia smiled in victory.

"I have no need for a day used to shower women with gifts to persuade them to sleep with you, women throw themselves at me without gifts" he smirked, watching Leia's indignant glare with amusement.

"I suppose it's not like you had any friends to share the day with either" Leia retorted.

"What idiot gives their friend a present?" he asked bemused before realising that the kid had suddenly looked down and away from the pair. He looked at the box of chocolates in Leia's hand and then back at the frowning farm boy. "I'm assuming Luke doesn't want to sleep with you" he stated, earning an eye roll from Leia.

"Don't mind him Luke; feel sorry that he doesn't have any friends to know better. Hell I bet if he had his way he'd be splitting the couples apart"

"It's you I feel sorry for Princess. Clearly you _only_ had friends to give you presents on a holiday meant for lovers" and with that he turned and stalked out of the hanger.

Leia gave a big humph before turning back to Luke and Chewie. "That man is insufferable" But her complaint was met with two identical grins.

Han, meanwhile, was getting sick to death with all the couples he was passing and it had nothing to do with the fact that every time he passed one they turned into him and Leia. And it definitely had nothing to do with the few that turned into Leia and Luke.

'Seriously, it should be common decency to get a room and to not flaunt that disgusting scene out in the open; no one wants to see it'. Suddenly he remembered what Leia had said about splitting couples apart and an idea formed. He grinned evilly before spinning on his heel and rushing off to find the members of Rogue squadron.

"Boys" he greeted them upon finding the group sat around a table in the mess hall. "I have a job for you"

Three eager faces spun round and eyed him with hope and awe. "What have you got planned this time Han?" asked Wes eagerly. Han's plans always seemed to be just as fun as his own but without the trouble afterwards.

"I want to introduce you to something called _moment spoiling_" he said with an evil grin as the Rogue's looked confused.

"What's that?" asked Hobbie.

"Well I don't know about you but I'm getting sick of walking past all these couples making face. Moment spoiling involves stopping them"

"But its Sweethearts' day" pointed out Wedge.

" Yes, and I have no problem with them doing whatever they want in their own rooms, but sucking face in the halls is inconsiderate to everyone else who has to walk around them" argued Han.

"I totally agree" whined Wes. "They don't have to rub it in. And more importantly it's demoralizing for those who left their girlfriends and wives behind when coming here"

"Well put Janson" grinned Han "So who's with me?"

"Count me in" grinned Wes, although Han never had a doubt that the young pilot would follow him anywhere.

"I'll help too" nodded Hobbie solemnly.

"Fine" muttered Wedge "But if we get in trouble I was against it from the beginning"

"So how do we go about it?" asked Hobbie.

"Follow me boys" beamed Han "And let the master show you how it's done"

What followed was a series of shouting "get a room", some well aimed keys that could be collected whilst interrupting a couple and even the odd insect placed with only a smugglers agility. The Rogue's soon got the gist and added their own brand of havoc, involving stink bombs and overly dramatic fainting.

It wasn't long before Leia marched up to Han.

"When I implied you'd want to split couples up that was not a suggestion to start"

"Your highness" Han replied with mock hurt. "Whatever makes you think I'd do such a horrible thing?"

"Antilles told me"

Han mumbled something about payback later before Leia spoke again.

"You really are low Han. Just because you feel left out does not make it right to interrupt other people's happiness"

"Look, your worship, I wasn't doing it for myself. I was doing it for the troops who have had to leave their partners in order to fight your rebellion, or even worse whose partners have been killed for the cause. They don't want to be confronted by couples making out at every turn"

"Oh don't give me that" she retorted angrily. "Everyone's been given the day off so that they could escape any scene they weren't comfortable with. Admit that you're just jealous that they have someone and you don't"

"Jealous? Why would I be jealous? They're stuck to the same old boar for the rest of their lives; I'd hate to be tied down like that. Me, I can have any pick of any woman that I want, whenever I want"

"And yet I haven't ever seen you do more than flirt with a single one" she smirked

"Don't push me Princess or you might regret it" he smiled evilly down at her

"Why would I regret it?" she asked indignantly

"You wouldn't mind if you saw me with another girl, hands all over her?"

"Of course not, what you do is your business. It doesn't affect me" she snapped, at the same time wishing that what she said was true.

"So you don't dream of me kissing you?" he teased

"Don't be absurd" she snapped.

"And if I got all close to you, like this" he lowered his voice as he moved into her personal space "It wouldn't affect you in the slightest?"

"Ridiculous notion" she agreed, although slightly more breathlessly than before.

"And if I happened to lean forward and kiss you, you wouldn't want more?" He was getting nearer now, lips dangerously close to finding the answer to his question. She was caught like a bantha staring into speeder headlights, praying for her brain to come up with a response. He got even closer, his lips mere centimetres from her own, and still she couldn't move, not sure she wanted to.

At that moment Wes popped up between them with a loud shout of "Moment spoil" before legging it across the hangar. The spell holding Leia captive broke and she turned around. "I have no time for your silly games Captain" she said, adopting her political voice once more. "The high command has requested that you leave the couples alone from now on. Good day" and with that she walked out of the hangar leaving Han, face enraged, to turn and chase after Wes.

"JANSON YOU ARE SO DEAD WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU"

"Was that Han?" asked Luke as he approached the laughing forms of Wedge and Hobbie.

"Yup" grinned Hobbie.

"Why is he after Wes?" asked Luke, still confused.

"Wes managed to moment spoil Han and the Princess" grinned Hobbie, watching Wes trying to plead for his life as an enraged smuggler leapt around the crates to try and grab him.

"Han and Leia?" asked Luke incredulously. "Why on earth would he do that? I thought he wanted them to get together?"

"He does, but not until next month when he bet they would" sighed Wedge, shaking his head in shame.

"But... but _I_ had them down to get together today!" exclaimed Luke. "Why didn't you guys stop him?"

"What can I say Luke?" grinned Hobbie. "We both had them down for next month too"


End file.
